


5 times Stiles annoyed Cora with friendship (and one time he didn't)

by Malaayna



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: 5+1 Things, Alive Allison Argent, Alive Vernon Boyd & Erica Reyes, And its kinda cracky, And then this happened, I was watching What We Do In The Shadows, If You Squint - Freeform, Minor Allison Argent/Lydia Martin, Minor Isaac Lahey/Scott McCall, Misunderstandings, My first ever 5 +1, My very first fir this fandom too, Nah but seriously, Slight violence?, They shouldntvedied, Very Minor, Why are Allison Erica and Boyd alive?, Wow, anyway, because fuck you, blood mention, i guess?, typical, um
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-29
Updated: 2017-09-29
Packaged: 2019-01-06 16:47:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,729
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12214833
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Malaayna/pseuds/Malaayna
Summary: "No Scott, you don't understand!" Stiles laments, holding a roll of toilet paper to his bleeding nose."She said 'Werewolves, not Swearwolves'! We should be snarky, sarcastic saltmates!"Isaac swears, and Cora mutters under her breath, causing Stiles to decide they should be best friends.However, Stiles being Stiles, and Cora being a Hale, this doesn't quite work as Stiles planned.





	5 times Stiles annoyed Cora with friendship (and one time he didn't)

**Author's Note:**

> I would first off like to point out that this fic's working title was "Werewolves not Punchwolves"
> 
> I was watching What We Do In The Shadows a little while ago and wholeheartedly believe that it's a movie that Stiles quotes regularly.  
> But then I thought, how funny would it be if one of the other packmates said it instead, making Stiles do a double take.  
> And then I thought, holy shit, what if Derek or Cora said it!?
> 
> So thats where this comes from
> 
> I hope I'm following the correct procedure for a 5+1 cause I've never actually done one before 
> 
> So yeah  
> I hope youse all enjoy  
> (and please go watch What We Do In The Shadows, it's fucking brilliant, and stars the director of Thor:Ragnarok, who is absolutely hilarious)

"No Scott, you don't understand!" Stiles laments, holding a roll of toilet paper to his bleeding nose.  
"She said 'Werewolves, not Swearwolves'! We should be snarky, sarcastic saltmates!"

Scott leans back to avoid Stiles' flailing left arm, "So she can rhyme, I don't understand...?"

Stiles slouches back, both arms flopping to beside his thighs.  
"It's a quote from a movie, you cretin." He whines, blood trickling over his lips and down his chin.

Scott opens his mouth to speak, but Stiles holds up his finger and interrupts, "No. Not Star Wars."

Scott just grins at his dejected, scowling best friend.

\---------------------------------------  
(1)

They're all at the loft, well, Derek, Cora, Boyd, Stiles and Erica are anyway, when Isaac stomps in, clearly fuming.  
"Why is he so stupid?!" He asks the room, Erica pausing the dvd.  
"I've been flirting with that idiot for the past two months!"  
Erica and Stiles share a look, both barely containing the fit of giggles threatening to burst out.  
Boyd is smirking with his eyes, while both Derek and Cora are doing the 'Trademark Hale' " _Slightly Interested One-Eyebrow Lift._

Isaac is still ranting _._  
"I mean, we both live in the same fucking house! Just.......aarrgghhh!!!"  
He flops down onto the floor, head resting against the nearest lounge chair.

__"Werewolves, not Swearwolves,"__ Cora mutters underher breath.

 

Before he even gets a chance to say anything, she just says "No" and stands up, walking out the door.  
Leaving Stiles confused and gaping-mouthed as Erica pats his shoulder.

__\-------------------------------  
(2)_ _

Allison is studying in the library when Stiles flops into the chair opposite her and sighs, head resting on arms that are crossed on the tabletop.

She goes back to studying, this is pretty normal behavior, and she knows he'll tell her whats up soon. _ _  
__ Stiles huffs and sighs three more times, each time bigger, before she puts down her pen and smirks that little smile of hers and asks, "Is everything alright Stiles?"

He lifts his eyes, nothing else, and sighs again  
Just as Allison is about to pick her pen back up again, Stiles sits up and looks down at his hands.  
"I just... why doesn't she wanna be my friend? I mean, I know I can be annoying," he looks up and gives a little tight, self-depricating smile, "but am I really so annoying that she doesn't even want anything to do with me?"

__"__ Oh Stiles, sweetie," Alison coos, reaching forwardto take his hands in hers, "what happened?"

"Well," he starts, pulling his left leg up against his chest, "yesterday, me and the others, ah, the Hale pack, sans Isaac, were watching the latest marvel thingo, ah Ragnarok, when Isaac stomps in, looking just about ready to punch something."

"Scott right?" Allison interrupts.

Stiles scoffs, "what else would it be? Don't get me wrong, I love Scott. He's my brother. But fuck he can be oblivious."

Allison grins, "you don't have to tell me. It took weeks of hinting and flirting before he even realised I wanted him to kiss me."

Stiles snorts, "anyway, he comes in, lamenting like the lovesick fool he is, and he swears. He said 'fuck'. And then Cora fucking quotes What We Do In The Shadows!"

"Werewolves, not Swearwolves?"

"Yes! And so I turn to her to, like, congratulate her on an awesome taste in movies or something, but she just says "No" and then fucking leaves!" His arms are flailing lile one of those inflatable tube men.

"Maybe she thought you were going to tease her or something?" Allison queries, clearly mentally mapping it all out.

"So today I tried to tall to her," Stiles adds, "but as soon as she saw me, she turned and ran! It happened seven times!"  
He huffs and sits back, crossing his arms.

"I mean, you are pretty annoying," Allison teases, Stiles throws a pen at her? "But not that annoying," she replies, catching the pen, "I'll see what I can find out."

"Thanks Ali-cat," he says, giving a weak smile _ _ _ _._ _ _ _

____\--------------------------------------  
(3)_ _ _ _

"So," Lydia begins, sneaking up behind the couch Stiles is currently perched on, making him jump, "a little birdy told me you've been annoying Cora."

"Fucking hell Lydia," Stiles exclaims, clutching his chest withone hand as he puts the controller down with the other. "I'm putting a bell on you too," he points his finger at her.  
"Also," he adds, "as an aside, completely unrelated, I'm going to kill Allison."

Lydia snorts, moving to sit next to Stiles, "It wasn't Allison who told me, it was Cora. Apparently today you tried to corner her in a classroom , and she had to escape through a window."

Stiles cringes, "Okay, so, in my defence, I didn't actually know she there to begin with. It's not my fault she fled as soon as she saw me!" He crosses his arms and pouts.

"You can, sometimes, be a little, ah, Intense " she says, patting his shoulder.

"Oh god," Stiles laughs, "you sound like Mason!"

She punches his shoulder, "and just for that I'm going to absolutely obliterate you on Rainbow Road!"

\-----------------------------  
(4)

He found her putting, what looked like itching powder, into Isaac's underwear drawer.  
"Catwoman, I need your help!" He announced.

To Erica's credit, she didn't even flinch, "just give me a sec Batman," she said, not even looking up.

She finished sprinkling the powder, recapped the bottle, and stood to face him, slipping the bottle into her pocket.  
"So, what can I do ya for?" She asks, leading Stiles out of the room, shutting the door behind them.

"I need your help with Cora," Stiles starts, but Erica interrupts.

"Yeah I heard about the latest thing," Stiles cringes, "how did you even manage that?"

"In my defence," Stiles starts, thinking to himself how that seems to be his catchphrase of late, "the floor was wet and I thought she'd have moved, cause, ya know, werewolf "

Erica snorts out a little laugh, reaching for the cocoa, gesturing to Stiles with it and getting an assenting nod.  
"Why were you running at her anyway?"

"Cause I didn't want her getting away again," Stiles mumbles, sitting on a stool and slumping forward, cgin resting on his crossed arms.

"And how did that work out for you?" She replied sarcastically, grinning as she slides his hot chocolate to him, leaning against the bench with her own drink clutched in her hands.

He rolls his eyes and sips at his drink, eyes fluttering shut.  
"Mmmmmgood," he mumbles, then, "And that's why I need your help Erica. I've literally never had to go out of my way to make a friend before. Like, it was third grade when Scott decided to stick with the annoyingly loud, flailing kid. That's me, by the way. Then he flirted with Allison, and her and Lydia came as a package deal. Derek seems to put up with me now. I mean, we started out pretty rocky, but I guess he wanted Scott and got used to me tagging along. And I saved his life a couple times, so that probably helped. You and me are friends, obviously. And I guess Boyd and Isaac don't want to kill me, so I'll class that as friendship. But we've all got history, ya know. But with Cora it's just... Ugh I dunno. The friendship just isn't happening , ya know?"

He slumps back down, head resting beside his steaming mug.

"Oh Batman," Erica coos, moving around the bench to throw an arm over Stiles' shoulders.  
"Okay," she says, "here's what you're gonna do..."

\------------------------  
(5)

It was all planned out.  
He'd walk up to her (Erica had already convinced her to give him one more chance).  
He'd pass her the note him and Erica had made (just a simple 'Do you want to be my friend? Check yes or no' thing).  
He'd read out the small speech they'd made.  
And he'd do the puppy dog eyes.

That's what was supposed to happen.  
That isn't what happened.

What actually happened was this:

He walked up to Cora, as planned, and he panicked.

So, instead of passing her the note and reading his note, he instead screamed _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _  
" **YOU SHOULD BE MY BEST FUCKING FRIEND! **"****__________

 

At her face.

 

This startled Cora, as getting screamed at generally does, and she instinctively punched him. In the nose. Hard .

As she fled, Stiles sighed, finally giving up and climbing into his jeep for the long drive home.

\-----------------------  
(+1)

It was about a week later when Cora walked up to Stiles.  
His black eyes were finally starting to fade, and most of the swelling had gone down.

"Come to finish the job?" Stiles snarled, getring into the drivers side of the jeep.

Cora hopped into the passenger side, scowling.

"Woah, this brings back memories," Stiles states, "just give you some stubble and it's like looking into my past."

"Are you even going to let me talk?" Cora asks, scowl still firmly in place.

"You're not just gonna punch me again?" Stiles asks, leaning towards the door.

"I will if you don't shut up," she growls.

"Duly noted," Stiles replies, then softer, "guess it's a Hale thing after all."

Cora sighs, "okay, I'm not all that good at all _this_ " she gestures vaguely, "but, apparently, you've been trying to be my friend "

Stiles scoffs.

"Hey shutup!" Cora exclaims, "do you have any idea how hard you are to read? Your chemsignals are all over the fucking place!"

"Really?" Stiles asks, intrigued, "like..? How...?"

"Because you always smell like anxiety, adrenalin and arousal. And the smell of the Adderal just kinda masks everything. It's really fucking confusing. I honestly thought you were hitting on me."

"Wait, what? Uh yeah no, like, no offense, but I'm good with just friends," he replies, relaxing back into his seat.

"Ah yeah," Cora replies, relaxing as well, "Lydia explained it all."

"Oh okay," Stiles says, "so the punch...?"

"Was an accident," she at least has the courtesy to look sorry, "I kinda panicked. And I'm used to other 'wolves who can just, you know, heal , so yeah."

"Yeah that's fair," Stiles smacks his lips together, "You wanna go watch What We Do In The Shadows?"

"Oh my god yes!" Cora grins, "Go to the loft, I'll do a group text and drag everyone in."

"I like the way you think sister," Stiles grins, turning the key and pulling out of the parking space.

**Author's Note:**

> As always, kudos and comments are appreciated and are absolutely fucking brilliant ♡♡


End file.
